Getting started is not as easy as I thought. You see, whenever I try to tell myself, "Alright that's it, we are starting mission d.i.e.t NOW!" it sort of backfires! I start eating more than I used to. I rebel against myself. I don't blame anyone who finds this odd because frankly, I do too. It's not that I want to eat, it's not that I don't want to lose weight, it's just my belief that I have to stay in limbo. I don't want to be in limbo!
So I had a cheeseburger today. No big deal since I didn't have the fries or soda; but still. This is not how I should go about this body changing business. And the snacking is still a problem too. I need to find a program. Something like "the 3-hour diet" by Jorge Cruise. I wonder if I should re-read it after this month. The fasting thing doesn't help with my binges in the wee hours of the morning! Which is right around the time that voice of reason in my head just goes away. Or rather I send it to the highest tower of some far off land with no stairs to descend, tape its mouth shut, and tie it up with barbed wire...
Voice, wherever you are, I'm sorry. I need you. I left a rope in there...can you come down now??
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