For shame!

I have been a very BAD girl!

I'm doing the exact opposite of what I set out to do!!

I was tired of not seeing progress and I just started eating whatever I really wanted to!
This is sooo bad!!

I went back to soft drinks, lots of chocolate and even...McDonalds!
Yes yes its true!!!

I really need to snap out of this.

Hypocrites

My friend is the BIGGEST hypocrite.

Chocolate chip cookies are a sin. True. Caramel Waffles are a sin too. But it's the lesser of two evils.
She does not understand that.

She hid my mini caramel waffles to prevent me from consuming them. That's fine, I didn't mind.
But then she goes on to say, "I want chocolate chip cookies!" What?! Hold up, that's not fair!
I lost the will to say no. She wants cookies I want cookies. But why would you say that after trying to hide my innocent biscuits? Now the sin is worse!!

I just had 2 cookies...fresh out of the oven. I think that was enough fun for today. But she had FOUR! or at least I saw her eat four...maybe more...

I don't feel guilty though. I just need to balance calorie intake with exercise, simple arithmetics. At least I was always good in that. Calculus, not so much...

R&R

Well, it seems that this blogger took a little break, sort of from everything. :s

I went on a mini vaycay to Sharm el Shiek and let it rip so to speak... All sinful island holidays have secret stories, mine goes like this. Sin is my sweet talking inner demon that influences all my bad choices. A secret is not a secret if its between more than two people. I'm ratting you out Sin!!!

Me: The water looks nice, shall we go for a little dip? We can swim and burn calories ;)
Sin: No, no, its much to windy. So the water will be cold sweetie..
Me: But we came here to snorkel? I mean what else is there to do?
Sin: Well, there's always that cafe over there...you didn't have lunch. And I say, I'm craving some french fries!
Me: No no, I can't order that! How 'bout a salad?
*Tall and thin cousin orders fries*
Sin: See? Now why don't you just say two of that? Come on honey? You know you want to? ;)
Me:*loudly* Two french fries...
Sin: Now how 'bout that ice tea?
Me: and two ice teas...extra sugar.
Sin: Good...good...

And it goes on to include non-diet drinks as a better substitute for diet drinks!! I stopped soda all together, how the hell did I get back to them and back to the sugary ones too?! And thus is the continuation of the crazy eating habits, AND IT GOT WORSE WHEN I DECIDED TO LOSE IT?!
This is CRAZY?! Why would I sabotage myself?!

Rest and Relaxation time IS OVER.

I just started Uni and its a rigorous program. I need to eat healthy to stay focused. I already made a pact to climb the stairs instead of the elevator. I believe that is good, but not enough.

I define myself as a Breakfast skipper. Soda drinker. Chocolate craver.
I need to re-work that definition and fast. It will not help my study habits and my waistline.
I seriously need to be kicked in the butt. Any volunteers?

Just cuz U mentioned it ;)

We were at my dear friend's house all the way on the other side of the country ;)
And since we made the fatigue inducing trip (:p) she decided to treat us with goodies.
Between rounds of several amusing card games, we stuffed our faces with yummy mini sandwiches. Tuna, Labneh, Chicken, Halloumi, and Labneh again with olives. All too mini and too yummy for us to even realize what we were doing.

"But that's not all," she said.

Behold the dinner table!!

"Oh my, what have you done to me now?" I thought.

Pizzas, Harees, the most decent Lasagna I ever had, Samboosas, Za'atar Labneh cigarettes, Wara'ak 3nab, AND the most awesomest no-bake cheesecake! Needless to say, we were stuffed by the end of it all. I did not get up on the scale today to see just how much of a set back that was. We'll just pretend it never happened ;P But just because you meantioned it, dearie, I did blog about it hahaha :p Allah yn3am 3alaich

Food Court Fears

So you step into your local mall and start walking around. Pretty soon you are going to find yourself climbing up the stairs (or just standing on the escalator you bums *cough cough*) to the third floor aka. the food court. The scent invites you to check out the bazaar of eateries just waiting to cater to you whether you want it or not. The smell is just too tempting on a half empty stomach.

I immediately crave the best burger joint in town, but because I was with my friends one word sent me walking in the more appropriate direction: Japan. Salmon sushi was the better alternative. And it didn't taste bad too. On the whole I think the mall's selection was quite good. I'd definitely go there again. But I don't know how easy it would be the next time to brave the sinfully mouth watering smell that is emitted from the less health conscious vendors. I just have to remember that it won't be worth it 20 minutes later. And the dream of the Louis is far more rewarding than a Double Cheeseburger.

Here's to a size 8!

Ps. Ok confession. No, I did not eat a burger. I took two pieces of Galler chocolate! Is that so bad??
I swear I'll try for it not to happen again. But I'm doing better, honest to blog!

Travel-icious!

Spotted: The chicest travel wallet on the market, and we want it NOW!

Hold up! I did not forget the deal. Now that I have eyed my first item, it's time to put in the effort to get the reward. My Parcel travel wallet has served its purpose, I think its time for an upgrade.
The classic logo is on the outside, but on the inside is a bright punch of color. Genius! The purple one should fit my personality quite nicely. And is that an iPod we see in the red wallet? Love it! Looks like there's enough space for 3 currencies and then some. Hello London, Paris, and Dubai!

X-TENSO

What is the matter with me?!

Here is the list of sins I have committed today;-

1. Consumed Nutella.

2. Ate a bunch of meat filled pastries ~lost count too :s~

3. Almost ordered my tuna sandwich with mayo ~a friend loyal to my cause prevented that..thx~

4. I had the "X-TENSO" hair treatment.


Ok fine so the last one wasn't diet related but I got a lot of crap from my friends about it. It was a split second decision. I like spontaneity. But unlike my binges I didn't regret this decision, because it wouldn't appear on my hips or thighs. The truth is, decreasing the volume of my rowdy unruly hair made me see that with one split second decision I can decrease the appearance of well, the rest of me. The next time I lose the ability to think before I put something sinful in my mouth, I will try my best to be spontaneous. That would mean doing something else entirely.

When I walked in the salon I had a hair appointment booked to treat my scalp. The problem is not about whats on or in my head. I know what must be done. I could write a book on it myself. Instead the hairstylist suggested to decrease the volume. Why? Because it was time. It was time I managed my hair. Just like it was time I manage my body and consequently my self-esteem.

If and when I get that naughty urge to stray from the straight and narrow again, I will dance. Or I will drive. Or I will paint. Anything to keep me from stuffing my face when I am bored. Or at the very least drink water or make myself a nice cup (or teapot) of green tea with jasmine.

And just like I sought to eliminate frizz from my hair, so to can I eliminate "useless jank" from my body.

Reasoning

Getting started is not as easy as I thought. You see, whenever I try to tell myself, "Alright that's it, we are starting mission d.i.e.t NOW!" it sort of backfires! I start eating more than I used to. I rebel against myself. I don't blame anyone who finds this odd because frankly, I do too. It's not that I want to eat, it's not that I don't want to lose weight, it's just my belief that I have to stay in limbo. I don't want to be in limbo!

So I had a cheeseburger today. No big deal since I didn't have the fries or soda; but still. This is not how I should go about this body changing business. And the snacking is still a problem too. I need to find a program. Something like "the 3-hour diet" by Jorge Cruise. I wonder if I should re-read it after this month. The fasting thing doesn't help with my binges in the wee hours of the morning! Which is right around the time that voice of reason in my head just goes away. Or rather I send it to the highest tower of some far off land with no stairs to descend, tape its mouth shut, and tie it up with barbed wire...

Voice, wherever you are, I'm sorry. I need you. I left a rope in there...can you come down now??

In the beginning...

There was an overweight girl from a family of overweighters. She tried so hard not to fit in, but she just joined the clan.

This is my chronicle. I've tried to shed these pounds for almost 9 years now, with a very low success rate. I realized that when June 2009 rolls around that would be the tenth anniversary of when I looked my best. I ruined the "best" looking version of me only one month later. How sad? I can not describe the anguish I really feel when I walk into a store, see a gorgeous dress, and know that its never going to fit. Or even when I dream of owning a gorgeous pair of Louboutins, only to try them on and suffer under the weight of well, my weight. I can't wear heels?! And I have denied myself that by hiding behind the words, "I'm just not a heels kind of girl." And that's just one of the many lies I kept telling myself.

This year all this is going to change. I for one like to balance my spiritual side with my materialistic side. I tried all the self healing mumbo jumbo, beauty from within, mirco organic zap meals, to no avail. So that's why I'm appealing to the dormant shopaholic in me and telling her to "RISE!! It's your time to shine!" I have a feeling this might work. Why should new year resolutions start in January? If theres a rule I am breaking then consider this my head start. So the deal is: For every 10 kilos I lose, that means its time to visit Louis. Louis Vuitton that is. And if this is not enough motivation for me, then I'm checking myself into a clinic somewhere in bloody Europe to figure out who I really am. But I believe me, I know me right now, and I have faith that this is going to work. Because "I'm living in a material world and I am a material girl." There, I've stopped denying it.

45. That is how many kilos I need to lose to regulate my BMI. Target time: June 2009. Event season is June around here, so I better not step on it like I usually do. "Slow and steady wins the race."

This is it. Road to Louis '09 kicks off today! Welcome aboard!