Writing Post-Mortem

  

   Yes, the worst has happened.

  I *gulps* gained two lousy, filthy, degrading kilograms!!

  This is unbelievably retarded. I have changed my eating habits, gone to the gym at least 5 times a week, and considerably reduced my chocolate intake!! How did this happen??!!

   I seriously was at a loss for words last night when my trainers were giving me "the talk". All I wanted to do was cry, but instead I had to listen to their advice when I have heard it 20 different ways before. After they we're done I went to the locker room, sat down and tried to think. 

 Cue: my female trainer Samia (yep, I couldn't escape) followed by my friends (who paused their workouts, bless their hearts). Their concern just made me burst into tears. I haven't cried like that in a long time. "The Cry of Agony". I was really really disappointed to say the least! But I believe Aunt Flo (ie. time o' da month) had something to do with this... 

   ps. the link is a really disturbing video, albeit funny...

  I also felt like the last thing I wanted to do was workout. But I'm not like that. 

I cried my last tear and heaved my last sigh.  

I washed my face clean and patted it dry.

  That was an unintentional poetic verse, so I decided to upgrade it to italic status. I digress.

  Where was I? Oh yes, I spritzed my face with Deepsea Rose Water from Japan cuz I need Shu Uemura's reassurance during times like these; and I walked out that door onto the battle field. This is war: with Guns and Roses. 

    Captain Jet put me on a different program cuz apparently I'm not a cardio type of person ( coulda mentioned that before I did 10 km on the Crosstrainer!) Instead I'll be doing low-intensity but longer time blah blah, I couldn't focus on what he said I was strung out. But basically no more huff and puff for me.

 

     To calm me down, I chose the "Disney" playlist on my iPod. Yeah, cuz I'm a kid like that! I started out with the Main Street Electrical Parade to get me marching. Then as he increased the incline and speed I was transported to EPCOT, listening to the Illuminations soundtrack. After 45 minutes of sing-along songs I decided to leave as I couldn't stay anymore; also escaping the shame of aerobics. 

   I tried calling my BFF in England and I let it all out again. It was sad. I won't include details but mainly I said, " I'm tired of being this!" and "God, I never thought I'd be the girl crying on the side of the street!" Yeah, it was that pathetic. 

    Then I decided to plan my meals, because I wasn't utilizing all of my resources, namely my Cuisine Diplome. I can cook. I can cook tasty low-cal meals, and I just wasn't. Which sucks btw. 

So I head to the supermarché and pick up a wide variety of fruits and veggies, lean meat, and the new Shape magazine which features "Elaine" from Seinfeld on the cover. She's 48 and looks waaay hot! I took a moment to mentally spit on myself. 

    I knew this wouldn't be easy, but I didn't expect a blow like this from the start!

 I'm not gonna lie and be all, "Oh I'm more motivated than ever now!" Spare me. This effing sucks! But I still am determined, a little bit less, but I haven't lost momentum yet. 

Images: shape.com; makeupbag.net